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comedycentralstandup:

Your Joke of the Day from Pete Holmes. Watch the full clip here and download his special, “Nice Try, The Devil" for $5 on CC:Direct. 

That’s because nobody fucks with cheese.

comedycentralstandup:

Your Joke of the Day from Pete Holmes. Watch the full clip here and download his special, “Nice Try, The Devil" for $5 on CC:Direct

That’s because nobody fucks with cheese.

This really looks like my cats, Elphaba and Maeve. WHO SNUCK INTO MY HOUSE AND REPLACED THE FLOORS?

This really looks like my cats, Elphaba and Maeve. WHO SNUCK INTO MY HOUSE AND REPLACED THE FLOORS?

tastefullyoffensive:

Mom Con [jimbenton]

This will be me when I have kids.

tastefullyoffensive:

Mom Con [jimbenton]

This will be me when I have kids.

lesmerlinables19:

serpensortia88:

More artwork by Mary GrandPre, artist of the American Harry Potter covers.

I’M ACTUALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW, THESE ARE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.

Oh my gods!! I want my books now!

run-cause-hitler:

enayalate-h8-this-year:

bbanditt:

slett:

winchestercodependency:

ibecameacat:

what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do

dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off

“People with vaginas”

what are those called again

I can’t remember

this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for 

amoying:

imagine a world where all living beings coexist with each other, like you go to the market and a bear is packing your groceries. You drive home and you see tulips playing soccer, that’s the world i wanna live in.

Did you forget your meds this morning?

collegehumor:

Everything is Hard and Boring
Ah, the majesty of young minds. 

Or horny ones.

collegehumor:

Everything is Hard and Boring

Ah, the majesty of young minds. 

Or horny ones.